ActionReaction
by remora29
Summary: [One-Shot] After a heartbreaking loss, Inuyasha and Kagome drift apart. Kagome finds solace in Kouga's arms, but when Inuyasha finds out, will he be able to forgive her?


Here's a little one-shot I thought of. There are plenty of stories out there about Inuyasha cheating on Kagome or Kagome's hurt feelings when Inuyasha sees Kikyo so I thought that I would do the reverse. Inuyasha's feelings about Kagome cheating on him. It's not AU, but the characters are OOC at times because it's my take on this topic. Happy Reading!

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but I wish I did. I am just borrowing these characters to act out my vivid imagination._**

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**Action/Reaction**

**By: Remora29**

**First Published: February 2, 2005**

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She berated herself for making yet another mistake. Oh hell, why lie? She was asking forgiveness in advance of her transgression. She was going to break her vows once again, without his knowledge. It would kill him if he ever found out, and if he died, she would die as well. He was her heart, her life—the only reason she kept going this long. The only problem was that his love was no longer enough. He thinks that he doesn't deserve her, but it is she that is unworthy of his heart.

Everything was fine between for a while. Two years into their quest, they had defeated Naraku in a battle to end all battles. In fact, the battle was so fierce that the meadow where it was fought still bore the scars five years later. Inuyasha and Kagome's combined powers are what did the demon in, howling with rage as the combined powers of his Tessaiga and her purity arrows. He picked her up, crushing her to him in fierce embrace, willing her to understand his feelings for her. She did. She said the words he wanted to hear, wanted to say himself, but was unable to do so.

"I love you, Inuyasha." Such a declaration from her soul. It bound him to her.

He met with Kikyo later that night. He had to tell her. His revenge for their lost union was complete. She could now be at peace since Naraku no longer wandered the Earth, but he wasn't going to Hell with her. He had a family now, a life that he never thought possible. Kagome loved him; Sango and Miroku were his brother and sister-in-arms, and Shippo was the baby of the group. Even his blood brother, Sesshomaru, had come to terms with his strength and no longer desired to kill him. They were his life, and he wouldn't give them up for anything or anyone. Surprisingly, Kikyo understood. She had watched him during the past two years, and had seen how he had slowly become part of a group. Kikyo didn't want to hold on to her hatred of him, and she grew weary of wandering the country with no place to go. She sent away her soul-stealers that night, and under the full moon, she released Inuyasha from his promise. She would depart from this world by herself, with no regrets. In return, he stayed by her side until the end—collecting the fragments of her body and returning them to Kaede.

Miroku and Sango were wed a year later. Sango needed time to grieve the death of her little brother and set him to rest with the rest of the slayers. They were so happy together once they finally worked through their problems. In fact, at times Kagome envied their happiness. Miroku lived for Sango, and he was her world. They had one child, a little boy, and she was pregnant again. They were hoping for a girl, but she knew that they would be happy regardless of the child's sex.

A baby. That's what started all of this mess. After she graduated high school, Kagome decided to forgo college and concentrate all of her attention to becoming a full-time priestess. Kaede was getting older and needed someone to take on some of her duties. Kagome didn't know if she wanted to commit herself completely to being the village priestess, but she knew she wanted to be prepared for whatever would happen. Inuyasha was ecstatic. He knew as well as she did that he would never fit into her world, so he was happy that she was choosing to remain by his side. They were married soon after she made her decision. They had two weddings: one in the village with their friends and family and another in her time, during the night of the new moon, for her friends and family. Life was good for them for a few years until she got pregnant, then everything went to hell.

When Inuyasha found out she was expecting, he was elated. He walked around with a goofy grin on his face for days. No amount of teasing from the monk, demon slayer, or runt could ruin his mood. He was finally going to have a real family. One that he and Kagome made together. Mrs. Higurashi was just as happy for her children. She had wanted grandkids for the longest time, so when she found out the news, she immediately began making plans for a shower and all the other things they would need to get for the baby.

Then tragedy struck. One night, after a long day of priestess duties, Kagome left their house and headed for the hot springs. It was late and she knew that she shouldn't be out by herself, but she was tired and dirty and just wanted to relax in the springs for a while. Inuyasha was out teaching Shippo night tracking, so she didn't want to bother him. She thought that she would just run to the springs, get a quick soak, and be back before anyone noticed. She was wrong.

While at the springs, a hungry snake youkai came across her and attacked her. She was able to reach her bow and arrows before it could kill her, but as she notched back the arrow, the snake youkai lashed out his tail, hitting her in the stomach, and knocking her into a tree. By that time, Inuyasha and Shippo had arrived and quickly took care of the demon. Inuyasha then ran over to Kagome, picked her up, and ran to Kaede. He could feel her pain; he could smell her blood; but he couldn't hear his pup's heartbeat.

She slept for two days. When she finally awakened, her whole body was in agony. She tried to move her head to block out the sunlight, but the movement elicited a groan from her sore and abused body. Immediately, her mate was at her side, looking at her with eyes that seemed devoid of all emotion. She knew that something was wrong and that he needed to tell her something important, but she was afraid to hear what he had to say. Finally, she heard him clear his throat to speak.

"Kagome, mate, something happened to you, to us. Something terrible and I'm so sorry that I wasn't there to protect you," he choked out, unable to keep his tears at bay.

"What is it? Please, tell me..." she pleaded, frightened at her mate's behavior.

"When you were attacked, the demon hit you in the stomach, flinging you into a tree. You broke some ribs and got a con, a concussion," he hesitated, still unable to bring himself to cause her any more pain by telling her the complete truth. He took a moment, composed himself, and then looked her in the eyes. When she saw his grief, she felt a cold shiver run through her.

"The baby, it's gone. Our baby is gone and it's all my fault," unable to keep it in any longer, he broke down, sobbing on her chest. The last two days had been hell for him. He had come back from his excursion with Shippo to find his mate missing. When he tracked her scent, he found her under attack. He got to her right after she had been struck. He made quick work of the demon then rushed her to Kaede, fearful for her and the pup's lives. When Kaede told him the news, he wanted to die. It felt as if his whole world had been taken from him, but he couldn't. He had to be strong for his mate. She was still in a delicate state. Everyone offered their condolences, but he was numb to them. He just wanted her to wake up, so that they could grieve together.

"No," she whispered, "no, it can't be. Our baby, my baby, my baby..." she wailed, clutching him tightly to her. Neither one knew how long they stayed that way, holding each other in their misery. As soon as she was able to travel, they went through the well to tell her mother. Mrs. Higurashi was upset, as was to be expected, but she felt for her children. They had been through so much together, and when they had finally found some happiness, it had been cruelly torn from them.

* * *

So wrapped up in her grief, Kagome didn't noticed when she started pulling away from him. After they returned to the feudal era, he tried to make amends to her, even though she told him that it wasn't his fault. If it was anyone's fault, it was hers. She knew better than to be out at night by herself without any protection. Her selfishness had cost them their baby's life. She didn't think she could forgive herself. 

Inuyasha tried to get her to talk to him, but she would brush him off or push him away. She stopped talking to their friends and family, and withdrew into her own world. It pained him to see her that way. He was hurting also, and as much as Sango, Miroku and Shippo tried to comfort him, they could reach him the way she could. He needed the comfort of his mate, yet she wanted nothing to do with him. As the weeks passed, he took to sleeping in what was supposed to be their pup's room. It seemed as if she couldn't stand to be near him any more, and not wanting to cause her further pain, he left their bedroom.

In the spare room, he cried all the tears that he couldn't share with her. He had only broken down with her that one time when he had told her of their baby's fate. After that, he had held back his tears and let her cry on his shoulder. His mate needed him to be strong for her, so that is what he was trying to do. It didn't matter that his grief was killing him, slowly consuming his soul. As long as he could be there for her, he would do it. But now he couldn't even do that. She had grown so distant from him that he could no longer bring her any comfort. His heart ached for her smile, yet he feared he would never see it again. So wrapped up was he in his nightly musings that he didn't notice when she started sneaking out at night.

Kagome hadn't meant to wander so far from her house—she just needed to get away. The silence of the surrounding forest was just what she needed to get the sound of her mate sobbing out of her head. She knew he was in pain; she felt it through their bond even though he tried his hardest to hide it from her. She just didn't understand why she couldn't comfort him. Kagome walked without destination, just following her feet wherever they guided her. Soon she came across a lake. She took off her socks and shoes and sat by the edge of the lake, letting the gentle movement of the water sooth her aching soul.

"You know you shouldn't be out this late by yourself," a haughty voice said from behind her. "What, mutt-face not taking good care of you?" He taunted.

Kagome felt her face burn in anger at that statement. Her husband was doing more than taking care of her—he was giving her all of himself.

"Just out for a stroll. And Inuyasha's taking good care of me, thank you," she said tersely. She didn't know why she even answered his question. It's not like she had seen much of Kouga since her and Inuyasha mated, given her mate's obvious dislike of the wolf and Kouga's flourishing relationship with Ayame.

Kouga and Kagome sat there chatting for a long time. He didn't know about her miscarriage, since he hadn't been around much lately. He treated her like a normal woman, not some grieving mother. He didn't walk around on eggshells, and for that she was grateful. He did, however, have a hidden agenda. He needed to make sure that he was completely over Kagome before fully pledging himself to Ayame.

"Kagome, I know this is going to sound weird, but can I kiss you? Just a little kiss—I want to see something," Kouga asked somewhat timidly. At first Kagome was taken aback by his request, but for some reason, whether it was the fact that she hadn't been intimate with a man in months or that she needed release from her current misery, she allowed him to do so.

Unfortunately, it wasn't just a kiss. Somehow, what started as a chaste kiss turned into a full-fledged make out session. They didn't have sex—they just fondled and touched, but after it was over, Kagome was filled with shame. How could she have done that to her husband, her mate? If he found out, he would be thoroughly crushed. Not only would he have lost a child, but his wife would have betrayed him as well. Kagome quietly made her way back to their house, slipping out of her clothes and into something of Inuyasha's. She didn't want him to come into her bedroom, as he was wont to do sometimes, and smell Kouga on her.

The meetings with Kouga continued on a weekly basis, as their relationship progressed from kisses to sex. Kagome wouldn't call it making love because she didn't love Kouga and she was almost certain he didn't love her. It was just a way to relieve the frustration in her life and release tension. She didn't realize that she spent more time talking to Kouga than her own mate did, or that she was becoming increasingly withdrawn from him. For Kouga, he postponed his mating with Ayame in favor of his stolen moments with Kagome. Both were playing a dangerous game with dire consequences, but in their moments of passion, they couldn't care.

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Eventually, Inuyasha became frustrated with his wife. He felt as if their life was falling apart, and it was all because she wouldn't talk to him about what was going on with her. He felt as if they were no longer husband and wife, but roommates. They weren't even friends. What Inuyasha liked best about his relationship with Kagome was the fact that he could tell her anything. They always were able to have long talks about their hopes, their fears, and their futures. Now, he couldn't remember the last time that she and he had a conversation that was longer than five minutes. It had been months since he had more than a chaste peck on the cheek or lips if he was lucky. He couldn't even remember the last time they made love. 

Inuyasha missed Kagome. He missed her smile, her warmth, and her love. He knew that they would always mourn the child that they lost, but he was ready to focus on their future, instead of dwelling on their past, but it seemed as if his mate no longer cared.

One day, he couldn't take it any more. He woke up early in the morning—well, earlier than usual for him—and made a trip through the well. He needed to talk to the person who knew Kagome the best: Mrs. Higurashi. When he got on the other side, he hopped out of the well and bounded into the house. He found her in the kitchen.

"Oh good morning, Inuyasha. Is Kagome with you?" she asked, noting the half-demon's slouched demeanor and tired look.

"No, she isn't. Actually, I want to talk to you about her," he confessed.

"Well, come in and have some breakfast. Souta and Grandpa are off at a soccer tournament this weekend, so we'll have plenty of time to talk," she told him.

Inuyasha sat down at the table and accepted the food. He ate some of it and played with the rest of it, much to Mrs. Higurashi's dismay. She knew her son-in-law to be a voracious eater, so if he wasn't eating well that meant something very serious was wrong.

"Ok, Inuyasha. Want to tell me what's bothering you?" Mrs. Higurashi asked concernedly. She really wanted to know what was happening to worry him so.

After she asked him to tell her, he broke down. It seemed that the stress of the situation was too much for him. He told her how he and Kagome were drifting apart. How she didn't talk to him any more, let alone touch him. He knew something was wrong with her, but she wouldn't confide in him. What was worse, she wouldn't let him confide in her. He needed to get all of his feelings sorted out about the miscarriage and their future. Losing the baby showed him how much he really wanted a family with Kagome, but he didn't know how to approach her and let her know that he was ready for that. It had been six months, and they were still so very far apart.

Mrs. Higurashi listened patiently, worried about her daughter and her son-in-law. It seemed as if Kagome hadn't come to terms with the fact that she was still grieving, and instead of relying on the combined strength of her and her husband, pushed him away. She had a feeling that there was more going on than what Inuyasha was saying, but Kagome was a stubborn girl and could keep her secrets when if necessary. Without hearing her daughter's side of the story, she told him that he and Kagome needed to take some time away from the others just for themselves. She suggested bringing Kagome back to the modern era that weekend, and she would set everything up for them. Inuyasha agreed, and stayed the rest of the day, just relaxing to get his mind off his troubles at home.

That evening, after thanking Mrs. Higurashi profusely, he jumped in the well, and headed toward his mate. They were going to have a serious discussion about their relationship and the weekend retreat that Mrs. Higurashi suggested. When he returned to the feudal era, instead of heading straight back to his house, he decided to walk around a little bit. A part of him was dreading the upcoming confrontation with his mate, and wanted to prolong the inevitable by taking a walk around the perimeter. He just needed to clear his mind and just exist. It had been a long time since he had been able to do that.

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He didn't plan where he was going—he just let his feet guide him. He passed over hills and valleys, streams and ponds. So wrapped up in his thoughts that he was unaware of his surroundings. A couple of hours into his excursion, he comes across a small lake. The moon reflected beautifully off the water's surface, and he sat down at the edge of the lake to rest and gather his thoughts. Suddenly, he heard murmurs in the night, and being curious as to the cause, he investigated them. 

What he came upon he wouldn't believe in his worst nightmare. In a small patch of grass beneath a large tree were his mate and Kouga having sex. He was so shocked that he couldn't turn away. He could only watch as she gave to another man that which she has refused him for so long. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he felt his heart shatter into a thousand shards. He felt sick, weak, disgusted, betrayed and a host of other emotions that he couldn't even put into words, but he couldn't look away. He stared as she screamed his rival's name, pleaded with him to go faster, and gave herself into the heady lust.

Even after they finished, he couldn't move. It was as if he was rooted to the spot. All of his hopes, dreams, and anguish from the past few months came running back to him full force. He so desperately wanted the pup that they lost because he wanted to have his own family—the family that he was denied as a child. Fate had seen things differently, but he was not deterred. He wanted to try again, but his wife was so wrapped up in her grief that she didn't even acknowledge his, and eventually stopped noticing him at all.

The tears kept coming. He had never felt so betrayed in his life.

Not even when Kikyo sealed him to the Goshinboku did he feel this way. He had given her so much, let go of all his barriers against hurt for her to take his heart and throw it away. Even though he was not hurt, the physical pain of her treachery was so intense that he felt as if he would die. He wanted to die. That way all of his suffering would come to an end and he could find some measure of peace. His entire life he has been treated as an outcast, an abomination among humans and demons. Then she came along with her promises of never-ending love and devotion. She swore she would stay by his side until her dying day, but it seemed that her promises were only meant to be broken.

After the sexual haze departed, Kagome felt empty and cheap. She didn't understand why as she hadn't felt that way before during any of her other trysts. Then she felt it, or him, more likely—his presence. And she knew that if he didn't know already, he would find out soon. She rushed to gather her clothes as Kouga dozed, hoping that when she did encounter her husband she would be able to come up with a good excuse for why she was out so late. She didn't even get the chance. When she looked up from collecting her clothes, her eyes locked upon golden orbs. With a sharp intake of breath, she got up off the ground and walked toward him.

He knew, and the knowledge of her infidelity, her deception looked as if it would destroy him.

She wanted to run to him, tell him that it was all a mistake, that she didn't mean it, but she knew that none of her excuses were good enough. She could only stand in front of him with one of his kimonos wrapped around her, pathetically attempting to mask the scent of wolf that permeated her very being.

He still didn't move, and because of that she was worried. She could take his curses, his insults, his shouts, but not his silence. His stillness said more to her than words ever could.

_You lied to me. You betrayed me. You hurt me. I don't ever think I will get over it._

"Inu—," she made to speak, but was cut off by the slap that resounded through the forest.

Inuyasha couldn't talk to her, he did the only thing he could and the one thing he swore he would never do: he hit her. The sound of the slap was enough to bring Kouga out of his sex-induced slumber. He turned his head toward the source of the noise, and his eyes widened at what he saw. Inuyasha was pulling his hand away from Kagome's face. Her cheek was turned to the side, and a reddish bruise was starting to form. Kouga made a move to help Kagome, but then thought better of his plan. Inuyasha was so mad right now that if Kouga tried to talk to him, he would most likely end up dead. The half-demon's eyes flashed brightly, and in them was his hurt for all to see. Watching the scene between the two, Kouga finally understood the gravity of the consequences of his relationship with Kagome. Not wanting to interfere, he quietly sneaked away from the couple to face his own turmoil at the wolf den.

After slapping Kagome, Inuyasha turned on his heel and fled. He had to get away from her; she smelled too much of Kouga.

* * *

He ran as if his life depended on it. In a way, it did. If he allowed himself to stop and reflect on what he had just seen, he most likely would have turned into his demon form and been in such a rage that not even Tessaiga could bring him back. He just had to escape. Without his knowledge, his feet took him to the one place where he could escape his problems: the Bone Eater's Well. Without a thought, he jumped in, heading straight for the shrine house and a talk with Mrs. Higurashi. 

Mrs. Higurashi was in the kitchen and really wasn't expecting Inuyasha or any visitors. After all, it was almost midnight. She just had a few dishes to wash and then she would be done. When she finished drying to dish in her hand, she turned to put it away in the cabinet. The sight that greeted her made her heart stop.

There, in her kitchen, was her son-in-law Inuyasha, looking for all intents and purposes like his whole world had ended. She didn't know what had happened when he went back to the feudal era to get him so down, but she had a feeling that she wouldn't like it.

"She's cheating on me," he choked out, before collapsing into the floor in a pile of grief. Mrs. Higurashi didn't say a word; she was too stunned to move. Here was Inuyasha, the brave half-demon who slayed the evil Naraku, collapsed in her kitchen floor from anguish over her daughter's actions. She didn't think; she simply acted. She knelt down next to him and rubbed his back in soothing circles. She knew that words were pointless, and he just needed to let it all out. She lost track of how long they sat like that: a mother comforting her heartbroken son.

Inuyasha stayed in the future for a week. He just needed time to himself, to reflect on his life. Finally tired of hiding from his problem, he bid Mrs. Higurashi goodbye and thanked her profusely for her help. She just smiled at him and told him that it was no more than she would have done for her other children and that he should come to her anytime he feels the need. With her comforting words of love, he jumped into the well to the past.

Before going home, however, Inuyasha stopped by Sango and Miroku's house. Even though the monk was a lecher, he also gave good advice and could be serious when the situation demanded it. He didn't make it to the front door before Shippo came running out.

"Inuyasha," Shippo yelled, "where have you been?"

"Gone, runt. I've had some thinking to do," Inuyasha replied. He passed by Shippo and walked toward the door where Sango and Miroku were waiting. They entered the hut quietly, the silence between the friends rapidly becoming uncomfortable.

"Inuyasha, where have you been?" Sango demanded. "Kagome's been worried sick about you." That was not the smartest remark for Sango to make.

"I don't give a fuck. I needed to clear my head and think things through, and that is what I did. I took time for myself and if she didn't like it, she can go fuck herself. Oh wait, I forgot—that's Kouga's job," he replied bitterly.

The looks on their faces were indescribable. Shock, disbelief and worry were clearly written all over both their faces, but the one emotion that Inuyasha picked up on the most was guilt. Suddenly Sango couldn't look him in the face any more, and it took Inuyasha a minute to figure out why.

"You knew." It came out as a statement, not a question. He looked both at Sango and Miroku. Their eyes told him. They knew that his wife was unfaithful and yet they said nothing. He looked at them not as the friends that he had fought along side and loved for years, but as conspirators in his mate's plot to break his spirit.

"Inuyasha, I'm so sorry we didn't tell you. We ran into Kagome one night returning from an extermination. She and Kouga were kissing, but he left when we came across them. She swore that she would stop and tell you everything. We wanted to tell you, but we didn't think it was our place," Sango tried to explain, sobbing between words. Miroku rubbed her arm, hoping to comfort her, but Inuyasha would not be appeased.

"No, you didn't think. You knew my mate was cheating on me and neither one of you thought that it was my business? I thought you were my friends, my family, but I was wrong," he spat, the glare he sent toward the couple strong enough to make even the most dangerous demon cower in fear.

"You know, I'm not surprised. You two always did take her side whenever we argued, even before we were mated. I was always wrong, and she was always right. I should have seen it then, but I wanted too much to believe that I actually belonged somewhere. You were never my friends—only hers. Don't talk to me. I'm leaving, and don't follow," he stated, and with a last glare, Inuyasha left his friends. Sango completely broke down and Miroku could do little to comfort her. Their allegiance to one had cost them the friendship of the other. Miroku didn't know if Inuyasha would ever trust them again, and to be honest, he couldn't blame him. Deciding not to dwell on the situation, Miroku picked up Sango and the two went to bed.

With a heavy heart, Inuyasha started toward his house. He could feel the sadness radiating from the place for a while, but he didn't care. She made her bed; she should have been prepared to lie in it. Stopping outside the door, he paused to collect his thoughts. The smell of her tears assaulted his nose, but for the first time since he had known her, he didn't care. He couldn't care about her feelings when she had so blatantly disregarded his.

He opened the door to his house and walked to where her scent was the strongest. She was in her bedroom, lying in her bed, curled up with his blanket, crying in his pillow. Kagome felt his presence when he stopped at the door. She opened her mouth to speak to him, but he cut her off before she had the chance.

"We need to talk," he said in an eerily calm voice. She nodded her head and followed him to the front room. He waited until she settled in, and then he sat on the floor opposite from her. Kagome winced slightly when she realized that he wasn't going to sit next to her, but she didn't question him about it.

"Why?"

The word was out of his mouth before he could stop it. He didn't want to appear weak in front of her. He didn't want her to know how much her betrayal hurt him. He didn't want her to see his tears. He didn't feel that she was worthy of them, but he had to know. Why did she do it? Why destroy him in such a manner? Why?

Kagome knew that this answer was important. Her response could mend or rend their already fragile bond, but she knew she couldn't lie.

"I don't know," she started. "It all happened so fast the first time, and then after that, it was easy to do. It was like a release. I could get away from the pain of the miscarriage and the distance between us. I know it wasn't right. I know that I hurt you and I want to make it up to you. I'm sorry and I love—" she started to say, but was cut off by Inuyasha.

"Stop. Don't say it because I don't want to hear it. Don't you think that I hurt as well? It was my baby too, and it was my dream to have a family. We lost that when you were hit, but I thought that if we tried, we'd be able to get back to the way we were. I see now I was wrong," Inuyasha told her.

Tears streamed down Kagome's face. She didn't want to hear the things that he said, but she knew he was right. Things could never go back to the way they were before the miscarriage. She had destroyed his trust, his faith in her, all for a few moments of sexual gratification. She would do anything to take away his pain, or go back in time so that she didn't sleep with Kouga. But she couldn't, and she was left with the mess that her actions created. She was brought out of her reverie by his next words.

"I'm leaving."

At that moment, her whole world shattered. He was leaving her. The one who had pledged his life and his love to her was leaving her alone. And it was all her fault. She couldn't blame him for it. I mean, she took his relationship with Kikyo hard, and they weren't even together then. And Inuyasha never did any more than hug or kiss Kikyo occasionally. If she were that upset before they became mates and wed, then there is no telling how bothered Inuyasha was by her having sex with Kouga.

"Please, don't go! Don't leave me!" she begged, running across the floor to plead her case with her husband.

"I need you with me. You promised me, on our wedding day and our mating night, that you would never leave me," she continued, hoping that he would find it within himself to stay.

"You want to talk to me about promises? What about your vow to forsake all others? Were you thinking of our promises to each other when you were fucking Kouga's brains out? You think that you can bring up the vows we made to each other and I'll just stay? How stupid do you think I am?" Inuyasha yelled bitterly, hating the fact that her heart-felt words for a moment made him want to take her in his arms and tell her that everything would be fine.

Kagome was selfish, she just realized. She wanted to hold Inuyasha up to standards that she herself had failed. She wanted him to stay with her forever, sticking by her side even though she had abandoned him for another. It wasn't even as if she liked Kouga. He was just sex, and even then the sex with him wasn't the way it was with her mate. After she had been with Inuyasha, she felt completed and fulfilled. When she was with Kouga, however, sex was just something she did to take her mind off the problems of her life. Afterwards, she always felt empty and sometimes cheap. She should have known that those feelings were her conscious telling her that she was doing something wrong, but she didn't listen.

"But I love you. Can't we work on this? I'll do anything," she begged him, throwing herself at his knees.

"No, we can't and that's the problem. I still love you, but I can't trust you. You've betrayed me worse than Kikyo ever did. She pinned me to a tree for a fifty year sleep, but you have taken my heart for all eternity." With those final words, he turned and walked out of the house.

Kagome wanted to call him back, beg him to talk to her, anything, but she couldn't. The look in his eyes when he told her that he still loved her struck a chord. He looked so lost, like a child who has had everything taken from him. She wanted nothing more than to take his pain away, but she couldn't do that when she was the cause of it.

* * *

He ran. For how long, he didn't know. Hours, days, weeks, months all seemed to blend together into one continuous stream. He fought any and every demon that came across his path. He had to get out the frustration of his life. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he be happy? Did fate see fit that he should always be alone? 

Alone. Again. Inuyasha couldn't understand why it hurt so much. He'd been alone before—hell, he was alone most of his life. So why was it different this time? He thought about it for a while, then figured it out. He had gotten used to having friends and a family. Sango and Miroku were like his brother and sister. Shippo was the baby of the group. Kagome's family was his family. Now he had lost it all. He had nothing. No mate, no friends, and no family. He was once again the outcast half-breed that he had been for the majority of his life.

One day during his travels, he came across a familiar scent. Deciding to investigate further, Inuyasha confirmed his suspicions. He followed the trail until he could see the person giving off the scent. Now he could really release some frustration.

There, in a clearing not too far ahead, was Kouga. Inuyasha had been waiting for him. He was downwind of the wolf-demon, so if he wanted, Inuyasha could have made a surprise attack. He wasn't going to do that, though, because he had more honor than that. Stepping into the clearing, he spoke to Kouga.

"So, not busy fucking my mate today?" Inuyasha sneered at the wolf-demon.

Kouga turned around in surprise. No one had heard anything from Inuyasha since he had left over three months before. He hadn't expected to run into him, so he wasn't prepared to fight him. For once, Kouga didn't let his bravado get the best of him. He tried to reason with Inuyasha.

"Look, Inuyasha, I'm sorry. My affair with Kagome was a mistake; it should have never happened," Kouga told him truthfully. Inuyasha didn't care.

"So, how does it feel? You finally got her, and not just once, but many times. You've been after her for so long that I've lost count of the years, but you finally one-up me. You fuck my mate behind my back when she won't even give me the time of day. You should be proud of yourself, wolf. You wanted Kagome, and you got her. So, why aren't you with her?" Inuyasha asked, him.

"I haven't seen her since that night you found her. I figured it was best to stay away," Kouga told him, slowly backing away from the rage evident in Inuyasha's eyes.

"So you ruined my life for nothing then?" Inuyasha asked. "That's okay because it's time I ruined yours."

With those words, Inuyasha attacked Kouga. He couldn't tell anyone about the fight between him and Kouga because he honestly didn't remember much. He only knew that he was dodging, punching, and kicking all at the same time. It was as if his rational mind was turned off, and the demon came out, but he didn't change. He clawed at Kouga, spit on him and twisted his limbs. He wanted to kill Kouga, and he would have if a voice hadn't interrupted his rampage.

"Please, stop Inuyasha. Don't kill him," Ayame yelled, running to Kouga's side.

Inuyasha didn't want to listen, but one look at Ayame's face made him pause. In her eyes, he could see her fear for Kouga's life. He could also see her love, devotion and pain. Ayame loved Kouga, and she didn't want him to suffer. If Inuyasha killed Kouga, he would be condemning her to the same fate that Kagome had condemned him.

"Fine, but you keep him the hell away from me and mine. If he even sets foot in my forest, I'll kill him, and even your pleas won't be enough to save him," Inuyasha told her as he turned on his heel and left.

* * *

After a year of wandering, Inuyasha returned to his forest, but not to Kagome. He still couldn't face her. He went to the well, and thought about going to see Mrs. Higurashi, but he didn't feel like doing that either. Letting his feet guide him, he walked to the Goshinboku and hopped into one of his favorite branches near the top. Fort he first time since this whole fiasco started, Inuyasha fell into a deep, untroubled sleep. 

That evening, Inuyasha was awakened by the sound of someone coming toward the tree. He heard the footsteps plodding through the grass and the swish of fabric as the person moved. Inuyasha couldn't smell the person since the wind was blowing, so he made sure he was concealed. He didn't want anyone to see him.

"I've messed up big time," Kagome's voice came to him from the other side of the tree.

"It's been over a year since I've last seen Inuyasha, and I don't know if he's ever coming back. I miss him so much; it's been so lonely here without him. I know it's selfish to want him back after what I did to him, but it hurts so much to be separated from him. I would do anything to have him back with me. I love him so much. I just didn't realize how much until he left me. Please, please to anyone that is listening, bring him back to me," she cried, as tears washed down her face.

Inuyasha listened to her pleas with mixed feelings. Part of him was elated that she missed him as much as she did because he missed her that much also. Another part of him, however, was upset. Why was she crying when she brought this whole mess on herself? As his internal battle rage, he barely noticed himself quietly hopping out of the tree to stand opposite his mate. Finally resolving his conflict, he walked around the tree and hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder.

Kagome's head snapped up at the hand on her shoulder. She hadn't heard anyone approaching, and she was without her bow and arrows. She was defenseless. Her trepidation soon turned to happiness when she saw muted amber eyes staring down at her.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome exclaimed, happy to see him even though she was unsure of their relationship.

"Kagome. I heard what you said; I was in the tree. Did you really mean it?" he asked, wanting more than anything to hear her say yes to his question.

"Yes, Inuyasha. I meant every word. I've missed you so much this last year, and even though I know I don't deserve it, do you think you could find it in your heart to forgive me?" she asked, the question having been on her mind for some time.

Kagome knew she had no right to make demands on him or ask his forgiveness, but she was desperate. Life just wasn't the same without him. She thought that she was miserable when she lost the baby, but when she lost Inuyasha it felt as if her soul was ripped from her. She wanted his love more than anything, but if she couldn't have that, she at least wanted his forgiveness.

Inuyasha didn't know what to think. He wanted to be with her, but he didn't know if he was ready to forgive her affair with Kouga. He loved her with all his heart, but was her love worth risking his heart again. Inuyasha didn't think he would survive another betrayal. Not knowing how to respond, he spoke to her from his heart.

"Kagome, I don't know. I love you so much. Hell, I still loved you even when I saw you with Kouga. That's why it hurt me so much. I want to be with you, but I don't know if I can risk another betrayal like that," he replied.

"Inuyasha, I'm not asking you to forgive me right away. I know it's going to take time. My mother explained all these things when she was upset with me for my treatment of you. I want you to come back home with me and work on us," she told him with hope shining in her eyes.

He took in the image of his mate, and could feel her sorrow and remorse. He couldn't let his fear of being hurt keep him from his mate any longer. They had both suffered because of their actions, and she came to him asking not only his forgiveness, but also his love. He couldn't deny her or himself. He wanted his mate back. He wanted to wake up in the mornings curled up next to her. He wanted to run around with her on his back, laughing and carefree. He wanted a family. But he could only have these things if he was willing to set aside some of his hurt and take her up on her offer.

"I'd like that, Kagome. I'd like that a lot," he said, as he bent down toward her, offering his hand.

She took it and he pulled her up into his arms. Their embrace lasted a long time as both reveled in the feel of the other. Inuyasha tilted his head toward Kagome and captured her lips in a sweet kiss. They both poured all of their feelings for the other into this kiss—letting the other know how lonely and sorry they were. With renewed vigor, Inuyasha picked up Kagome in his arms and headed toward their house. Things were fixed between them, but they were starting. For now, Inuyasha and Kagome were content to just be in each other's arms, as they should have been all along.

The End.


End file.
